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wiccaqueenbea80 Merry Christmas honey!
Title: An Angel at Christmas
Author:
wiccaqueenPairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sam and Dean go to check out some mysterious sightings during Christmas
Warning: Spoiler for end of 2. season and 3. season
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean belong to their respected owners at CW! I'm just borrowing them....
An Angel at Christmas
There had been several sightings in the small town of Secaucus in New Jersey. Some people were talking about ghosts, others about demonas and some even about angels. But there had been no indication of anybody acting strange, getting hurt or even dying. Well, not yet anyway. Still Bobby had sent the Winchester boys to go and explore the area, which covered about the whole size of the town. He had also read reports of other supernatural beings keeping ot of the area; some of them almost fleeing. So it was worth checking out. Was there a big new bad in town? Something even the normal demons didn’t want to meet? If so, the Winchester boys were definatly needed. Bobby decided to go after them if they needed any help. But until they knew what this thing was, he stayed put and looked into other sources.
“I hope Bobby is right about this town! Cuz if it turns out that there’s really nothing to hunt, I’m gonna make him pay for dragging our asses out here.”
Sam gazed over to his brother and let out a long breath.
“Yeah well. Bobby’s usually right.”
“Ususally,” Dean agreed, still sounding uncertain.
It was the only exchange of words for the next hour.
Sam closed his eyes and tried to relax, but there was no way he could sleep through Dean’s Motorhead cassette blearing through the Impala.
He could of course direct his gaze out of the window and look at the passing landscape. But there really wasn’t much to see, apart from a few trees and some lonely street signs. After a couple of minutes of total dullness, he again thought about grabbing some sleep and turned the music down to a bareable volume. Dean glanced over to Sam but didn’t say anything. He watched as Sam adjusted his jacket underneath his head and leaned against the door shuting his eyes. Still, sleep didn’t come easy to Sammy these days.
As usual the horrors of the nights before caught up with him sooner or later. And now there was also Dean. Whenever he closed his eyes, he’d see his brother disappearing, see him dying in his arms and having to live through an eternity of suffering and pain afterwards. Ever since the deal with the demon, Sam had been having these nightmares. Almost every night it was the same. He’d wake up, drowned in his own sweat but still shivering. Once or twice he had tried to talk to Dean about it, but he had never been really successful at it. Dean’s rule: no chick-flick moments, even if it concerned his possible death.
So talking was out of the question now aswell while driving, because sooner or later Sam just had to lead the discussion to that topic so dreaded by Dean. And Sam knew it was out of fear, simple and true fear; nothing else. The damn stubborn bastard didn’t want to show his weakness but nevertheless Sam knew what he was feeling. Hell, he’d known Dean for 24 years now! He could see right through him.
So in silence they drove on before finally reaching meeting civilization again after another hour. Entering the boarders of the town, Sam pulled out an EMF which reacted almost immediatly.
“Looks like Bobby was right. There definatly is something here.”
Dean just nodded and looked at the buildings they passed. Finding a motel in towns like these was normally not a problem, since they were always located on the main road, even if this one appeared to be the only road! Still the boys gazed out of the window, trying to spot a place for the night. While passing a few stores, Sam caught a glimpse of some small lights.
By the time he’d realised what they were, they already had driven by and were pulling into a parking lot of a motel. Here similar lights decorated the building accompanied by a small red and white sign that was stuck on the door.
It read: “Merry Christmas.” Sam had nearly forgotten!
He pulled out his mobile phone to check the date. It was the 23rd of December. For a moment he just stood there staring at the sign when a feeling of loss and sadness came over him. He had nearly forgotten that it was Christmas!
Dean pushed by him all of a sudden, carrying his duffel. When he opened the door, he waited impatiently for Sam to follow.
“Sammy, you coming?”
“Yeah,” he answered absentmindedly and followed Dean who hadn’t even noticed the sign or the lights.
Their first inquiry was at Mrs. Dudgeon’s house, just at the end of the main road. The old lady welcomed the interested reporters quite warmly into her house, offering some cherry pie and fresh brewed coffee. Dean smiled at the kind gesture and went on to enjoy the hospitality just a bit longer before starting to ask about what she had seen.
After a few minutes of chatting, it turned out that the old lady claimed to had seen a person she had long thought dead reappear before her. However, the person, or whatever it was, didn’t show any signs of decaying; in fact it didn’t have a scratch on it. Surprising to the Winchesters, since the person was said to have burnt to death. Spirits normally show their dying scares, but not in this case. Their curiosity risen, the boys continued their interview. She went on telling them that nothing much had happened, once it appeared. The spirit didn’t attack her and didn’t even speak to her. It simply looked at her and then began to glow. She felt a sort of peace then, almost as if she was blessed. And then the spirit disppeared. End of story. After another piece of cherry pie, Sam finally got Dean to say his goodbyes to Mrs. Dudgeon. Leaving her small house via a lane through her garden, Sam again noticed the signs of Christmas all around: there was a fake snowman, lights hanging around trees and bushes and even a small Santa seating on the front porch.
“Man, that was some cherry pie! Delicious! But her story kinda bugs me. I mean why would a spirit act like that? Certainly not a vengence spirit. What you think Sammy?”
Sam didn’t answer straight away, still admiring the neat decorations of the garden.
“Huh?”
“About the spirit! What’s wrong? You thinking about something?”
“Yeah in fact I am. Dean, do you even know that it’s Christmas?”
He looked his brother straight in the eyes. Dean seemed a bit bewildered at first, but then simply shrugged: “Yeah I do. What do you think I am? ....So spirit?”
Sam let out a small disaproving sound and got into the car. Dean was never on for Christmas. 24 years of knowing him, had taught Sam that as well.
After making some more inquiries in town, Sam and Dean were still quite clueless as to what was going on here. Sp they decided to take a break and have lunch before heading to the local library.
Between some greasy fries and a cheeseburger Dean tried to find an answer.
“Maybe they all were stoned. Drugs can make you see pretty much whatever you want.”
He smiled and took another bite, washing it down with a sip of beer. Sam sighed. It was bad enough to see his brother eat, but having him talk bullshit at the same time, was almost too much.
“Yeah I’m sure Mrs. Dudgeon was stoned! Very good theory Dean! Now how about trying to make some real sense out of what is happening here?”
“Hey, I am trying!” he protested, before another french fry found it’s way into Dean’s mouth. Stilll chewing he went on: “You know honestly I don’t see a case here. Nothing has happened, I mean nothing bad. Maybe we should just let this one drop.”
“I don’t know. Maybe nothing has happened, yet. Doesn’t mean it’s not gonna. Bobby said that this town was almost like a no tresspassing area for common demons. That’s gotta mean something. I guess we just have to try harder.”
Sam took a spoon full of his appargus soup and looked away from Dean. It was hightime someone taught him how to eat properly.
As he continued to think about the sightings, he caught site of a family entering the diner. They were packed with boxes and bags. When the waitress came to place them, the father said they needed a bigger table. “Christmas shopping, you understand. And my boys always want everything they see! I can’t deny them anything.” The waitress smiled, leading them to a table which had enough room for all the Christmas parcels.
Sam watched the scene for a while longer, not knowing that Dean was watching him in return.
The father was smiling at his sons, patting them on the shoulders, while the mother began to order their food. They all seemed so happy together, enjoying this special time of the year.
Sam didn’t say anything, but turned his gaze away to look at his brother again. He hadn’t expected to see Dean looking the way he did now. He had stopped eating, had dropped his smile and was staring at him almost sad.
“I’m sorry Sam. I know you....we never had that. We were never like that. I wish we could have been.”
Sam was at a loss for words. What Dean had just said had gone straight to his heart. Sometimes he really wasn’t such a pain in the ass ...sometimes. Sam didn’t reply anything, simply nodded and continued to eat.
Driving to the next place where a sighting had taken place, Dean had finally run out of music cassettes and allowed Sam to turn on the radio. As this didn’t happen to often, his brother gladly took the opportunity to pick a station which played the kinda music he liked to listen to. A split second later Dean already regretted it.
“Sammy, what the hell?” Sam turned his head and grinned innocently.
“Come on Dean, it’s Christmas! And you were the one who allowed my to choose the station.”
He turned again and began to hum along with the melody of “Jingle Bell Rock”.
“I know. But Christmas music? What are you....5? Or wait, I guess that’s your gay side coming through again.”
That comment of Dean before about not being a pain in the ass – scratch it!
“Ha, ha very funny Dean! You know I like Christmas music and what’s so wrong about trying to get into a Christmas spirit? We haven’t had a real Christmas in years! Didn’t you just say that before? That you were sorry we never had anything like that? A real Christmas with out family?”
Dean glanced over sceptically. “We don’t have a family, Sammy. It’s only you and me now, two grown men. And no we don’t need to get into a Christmas spirit like little kids would. End of story.”
Sam sighed again. Dean was truely hopeless. Slightly discouraged, Sam turned the volume down a bit, but didn’t change the station. He would try to get into a Christmas spirit, no matter what his dumbass brother said.
By the time they returned to their motel room at night, Sam had disregarded the thought of buying his brother a Christmas present. If he didn’t want to celebrate the holidays then he sure as hell wasn’t going to get him a present.
Sam was sitting on the bed, looking through some internet sites on his laptop, when Dean emerged from the bathroom.
“Hey Sammy, still looking for some answers?”
Sam glanced up but didn’t say anything. He looked at his brother, just a moment longer than he perhaps should. Although he was a pain in the ass, he was still his good looking, handsome brother, the one person he loved more than anyone else in the whole universe. It always had been this way, and probably always would be, no matter what would happen.
Still he was a bit disappointed by the typical behaviour of his brother, but not pissed. While Dean got dressed, Sam watched him. His brother took out on of his best shirts and slipped on his black jeans. Finally Sam’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Going somewhere?” Dean smirked but didn’t reply anything.
“Dean, aren’t you in the least bit concerned about it being Christmas? So what you’re just gonna pretend it’s a normal night and go out to play some pool and flirt up some chick?”
Dean was admiring his image in the mirror right now. Of course he knew what his charms were, as did the ladies. Sam didn’t mind, not really. He had settled for admiring his brother from a far for years now.
“Is there something wrong with that? You wanna give me a lecture now on how to celebrate Christmas? Newsflash Sammy, I’ve always celebrated Christmas the way I wanted to these last 20 years at least. So why are you starting to bitch about it now? Is it because this will probably be my last Christmas?”
And there it was: the unspocken topic. The one dreaded most by both Winchesters.
Sam took a deep breath and slammed the screen of his laptop down. Then he jumped of the bed, with an expression of pure enragement.
“Don’t say that! Don’t you dare pressume...”
“What? That I going to die? That I’m going to hell? Well tough Sammy, it’s reality, so deal with it. I can’t change it and neither can you. So stop mobbing about it and let me have some fun on my last Christmas Eve.”
Sam’ mouth fell open, but he couldn’t bring himself to form any words. The truth had hurt him too much. It felt like a hot piece of iron slowly driving into his heart.
How could Dean be so damn cold about it all? However, Sam Winchester still had his pride.
“Fine! Have it your way! Go out and spoil your last Christmas Eve spending it at some run down bar, instead of spending it with your only living family member, who actually cares about you!”
Dean tried to reply something, but didn’t know what t say. It was probably best just to let it drop and leave, rather than beginning to start a real fight. So silently he grabbed his jacket, carefully avoiding his brother’s gaze and left the room.
Sam hadn’t felt so shattered since their Dad had died, a year and a half ago. He almost wanted to cry, to choke on thick tears like he did when he was still a child. Why did Dean always have to act like this? Why did he have to hurt him so much? He loved him so, but all his love ever brought him was some form of rejection. Sometimes Sam wished he could just reach out and grab hold of Dean, pull him close and cradle him in his arms. Maybe then their stupid fights would end. Maybe if he would just be allowed to show his love ...But he knew it would never come to this.
All he wanted to do now was lie in this dark room and let the time pass him by. Forget about the arguement, forget about tonight, and forget about Christmas alltogether.
As he lay on the bed, trying to shut out all the rest of the world, a light appeared in the room. It was dim at first, but soon intensified so much that Sam had to notice it, whether he wanted to or not. Still blinking through his tears, he couldn’t see much at first. He could only sense a presence within the room. All of a sudden, he scrambled of the bed and went to grab his duffel which hopefully contained some helpful weapon or at least some holy water.
“Do not be scared, Samuel Winchester. I have come to help you.”
The voice was that of a young woman, calm and soothing, and not in the least dreadful. Sam frooze and looked back at her. Now he could see a beautiful face, surrounded by white light.
“Who are you and what do you want?”
“I’ve come to help you. You and your brother have come in search of me, now have you not?”
And then Sam began to understand.
“You...you’re the one everyone has seen. What are you?”
She moved a bit closer. Sam cautiously held up his gun, now loaded with rocksalt.
“I mean you no harm.”
“What are you?” he repeated in a sharper tone. He wasn’t going to let himself be lured in by a pretty face.
“I have many names. But people often call me Angelus.”
Sam raised an eyebrow.
“You mean that you’re an Angel?”
She smiled.
“Don’t you believe me? You of all people who has seen so much that normal people can’t explain?”
“I have seen s socalled angel sighting before. Only it wasn’t an angel, just a normal spirit not willing to let go of life. So how can I believe that you are what yu say you are?”
“I will help you and your brother in a way only an angel can. Perhaps then you will believe me.”
Sam was still not quite buying it.
“Help us how and why?”
“You will see. As to why, can’t you think of that yourself? No one had helped so many people so selflessly as you have. It’s as simple as that.”
Sam didn’t have any time to reply anything since she vanished within seconds after that. Somewhat bedazzled Sam let himself fall back on the bed, dropped his gun and just layed there staring at the ceiling. What the hell had just happened?
Dean was just drowning down his third beer, wanting to drown every bit of feeling he had left within him. His feelings of guilt, his feelings of fear and of loss. He hadn’t wanted to explode like that before, he really hadn’t, but somehow it had all gotten out of hand, as if often did nowadays. True, he never had been one for a traditional Christmas, but he still could at least share the holidays with Sammy. It was something he almost owed his brother. But he just couldn’t stand it. He knew Sammy couldn’t just be happy and at ease, knowing that this would be their last Christmas together. And there was no way he could deal with seeing Sammy sad at Christmas, just no way! He was the only one who meant anything to him in this lonesome cruel world. The only one he loved and would do anything for. The only one he’d sell his soul for. It had been his ultimate act of love, but now it just seemed to screw everything up.
He’r rather hide away in this small, shabby bar and try to forget what day it was. He could try, at least. In the end he knew he couldn’t really stick it out for more than a couple of hours. After a while he would go home drunk and fall into bed, sleep it off and get up in the morning to get Sam a gift. His brother would probably still be mad at him, but hopefully he would acknowledge the present and forgive him in due time.
After a couple more tequilas and some unsuccessful flirts, he slowly dragged his sorry ass out into the bleak night. As he walked through some nameless backstreet, he startled all of a sudden. Out of nowhere a figure appeared in front of him. After adjusting his eyes to the bright light, he could see before him a beautiful blond woman. She was glowing, or so it seemed. Maybe he had had too much to drink after all. Before he could do anything, the woman approached him and laid a hand on his forehead. Then she spoke in a soft, sweet voice:
“There. All better now.”
Dean was still too shocked to react in any way. Only when she took a step back again, did he shake out of his reverie.
“What the hell are you?”
The woman smiled.
“Your brother asked me the same question.”
And then something within Dean changed, like it always did when his brother was concerned.
“Sammy? What did you do to Sammy?!!!!Tell me!!! I swear to God if you hurt him in any way...”
“Oh your brother is fine, not to worry. But he would be better, if you went to him and spend this Christmas with him. Show him how much you love him.”
Dean blinked, not really knowing what to make from all this.
“What do you want? Vengence?”
“I’m not a demon, Dean Winchester. I’m sure you’ve noticed that by now. And it doesn’t really matter what I am or if you believe in me. Don’t you see? I’ve helped you just now so you can be with your brother. And now go to him.”
“How have you helped me? Any why would you do such a thing?”
Again the woman smiled and held out her hands. The glowing around her intensified and when Dean somehow instinctivly took her hand, he could feel her warmth. All of a sudden he felt completly content, even blissful. A strange, unfamiliar feeling, as if he still was a innocent boy with not a care in the world.
“Do you see now what I mean? Dean, all the good you and your brother have brought into the world has to be repaid. And that’s just what I’ve done.”
And then he understood. For a moment Dean had to catch his breath. Never before had he been so touched.
“You ... you’ve broke the deal with the demon?” he stuttered. She nodded.
“Your good deeds weigh in your favor. And of course all the love you have inside. The purest and truest feeling is love, never forget that. The love you have for your brother can do almost anything. It is such a beautiful strong source of power, glowing from within you. Always remember that.”
And then without a warning, she vanished again, leaving Dean behind in the dark of the night, a teardrop escaping his eye unnoticed.
When Sam woke he turned over to see if Dean had even made it home last night. Appearently not. The bed was empty. Still yawning, he slowly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, cursing this Christmas morning. Just before entering the bathroom, however, something caught his attention and he turned around. Blinking to focus better, he couldn’t believe what he saw: There was a small tree by the window decorated with lights and little red and gold ornaments. Beneath it there were two neetl wrapped presents.
It wasn’t much, but it was more than Sam had had in years, more he’d expected from Dean or even hoped for. Speechless he stood there and just admired the scene, while Dean entered the room, carrying some coffee and a bag of donuts.
“Morning sunshine. I’ve brought breakfast. Thought you’d be hungry.”
Sam turned to his brother and looked at him full of amazement.
“Dean, you....you...you did this? For me?”
His voice was a bit higher than normal, and maybe even a bit shaky.
“For us.”
Dean froze and looked at Sam to see how he would react.
Still astonished, Sam stumbled forward until he was only inches away from his brother.
A broad smile lit up his face, which made him look like a small boy again.
Dean dropped the things he was holding on the small table by the door, and then turned around again to see Sammy still smiling at him. And then, without any warning, he took a step closer and wrapped his arms around him. Dean wasn’t really surprised. Sammy could get all emotional when he wanted to. Luckily it didn’t happen too often. But now was just one of those moments when it did, and Dean didn’t even mind. He let Sam draw him in and even hugged him in return. It felt good to feel his brother close again, to knew he was safe in his arms.
When the finally let go of one another, Sam had to ask Dean what had gotten into him.
“It’s Christmas Sammy! I guess I still have a soft spot for it somewhere. Especially now since this actually won’t be my last Christmas.”
Sam’s jaw dropped open. It couldn’t believe what he was hearing. But then it all began to make sense.
“The angel! You mean she....she broke the deal? She saved your sould from going to hell?”
“I guess you could say that. So obviously I wasn’t such a bad boy this year, as I thought I was.”
Sam felt so happy and relieved as he hadn’t in years. This was truely the best Christmas gift he could ever get! The emotions rushed over him like a tidal wave. And before he knew what was happening a small teardrop escaped his eye. He didn’t mean to cry, but it just couldn’t be helped. But in contrast to the tears of the night before, these were tears of pure happiness.
“Sammy. Please don’t cry. Everything’s alright now.”
“I....I know....that’s why I’m so happy.”
This time it was Dean’s turn to approach his brother and wrap his arms around him protectively.
“Merry Christmas Sammy.”
“Merry Christmas Dean.”
When Dean let go of him a couple of minutes later, Sam was still crying. He reached out to touch his wet cheeks and then ever so softly wiped the teardrops away. And then, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, he leaned in and kissed his cheeks. It felt good, comforting and warm. Sam closed his eyes lingered every second of it. Dean didn’t show his emotions often openely, so his brother enjoyed this even more.
Just before he thought things couldn’t get better, he felt Dean’s soft lips brush over his own. He barely touched him, but it was enough to send endless shivers down Sam’s spine. When he opened his mouth and Dean’s tongue slipped in, it felt as if he might explode from how good it felt. It wasn’t a nasty, sloppy kiss, just a small, ever so carful kiss, which was over much too soon.
“There now, all better?” Dean asked, after breaking the kiss. His hands however were still on Sammy’s back, moving slowly up and down.
“Dean I just can’t believe that the deal is really brocken. I’m so happy, I can’t tell you.”
“You know what the angel also said? She told me that the love I have for you can do almost anything, and that I should never forget that. Sammy, you are my source of strength, I know that now. If I wouldn’t have you, I’d have nothing worth living for. But my love for you, was the one thing that made me want to hold on to this life. And I guess it was also a reason for her helping me to break the demon’s deal.”
“Oh Dean!” Sam didn’t know what else to reply. His feelings right now just couldn’t be put into words; all the words in the world wouldn’t have been sufficient. Instead he leaned back in again and kissed Dean long, and wet and sloppy.
It was the best Christmas gift Sam could give his brother.
